Including Your Dog in Decision-Making

Fruzsina Moricz
3 days ago
11 min read

In one experiment on canine perspective‑taking, 78% of dogs chose to steal food from the plate they thought a human couldn’t see, rather than the one in full view of the person watching them.[3]

No words. No “moral compass” speech. Just a quiet, strategic choice: I’ll go for the one you’re less likely to catch me taking.

That same brain is making choices all day in your living room, in the vet’s exam room, and at 3 a.m. when you’re wondering if your chronically ill dog “wants” another treatment or just wants to be left alone.

This article is about something many owners feel but rarely name: your dog is already participating in decisions. The real question is whether anyone is listening closely enough.

What it actually means to “include your dog in decision‑making”

Including your dog in decision‑making is not asking them to pick between two brands of pet insurance.

It’s this:

Recognizing, interpreting, and honoring the ways your dog already votes with their body, behavior, and choices—especially in situations that affect their comfort, health, and daily life.

That might look like:

Pausing a grooming session when your dog starts lip‑licking and turning away.
Letting your arthritic dog choose the shorter walking route today.
Asking for a “consent test” at the vet instead of immediate restraint.
Noticing that your low‑rivalry dog is following the other dog into something they don’t really want.

It’s a shift from “How do I make my dog comply?” to “How do we do this together?”

Key terms, translated into everyday life

You’ll see these concepts come up a lot in the science. Here’s what they mean in the context of your kitchen, not just a lab.

Behavioral cues

These are the visible signals your dog uses to communicate internal states:

Body posture: loose vs. stiff, crouched vs. upright
Tail: neutral, tucked, high and rigid, slow wag vs. fast full‑body wag
Ears: forward, neutral, pinned back
Face: soft eyes vs. hard stare, whale eye (whites showing), lip licking, yawning
Paws: paw lift can signal uncertainty or conflict[4][10]
Movement: approaching, leaning in, turning away, freezing, hiding

They’re not random. They’re the language your dog has.

Decision‑making in dogs

Research shows dogs:

Use past experience to guide current choices
Integrate social information (what others are doing)
Adjust behavior based on what they think you can see or know (perspective‑taking)[3][7]

In other words, your dog is not just reacting; they’re selecting from options.

Low‑rivalry vs. high‑rivalry dogs

From studies on social decision‑making:

Low rivalry dogs
- Tend to follow other dogs quickly and automatically
- More likely to trail behind another dog to an empty food bowl, just because the other dog went there[1][9]
- Often seen as “easygoing” or “sweet,” but can be socially over‑influenced

High rivalry dogs
- More independent, less likely to copy blindly
- May guard resources or compete more
- Often seen as “pushy” or “bossy,” but they think for themselves

This matters because what looks like a “preference” might, in a multi‑dog home, actually be social pressure.

Owner–dog communication

This is the shared language you build through:

Verbal cues (“sit,” “leave it,” “touch”)
Hand signals and body movement
Routines and context (the sound of the treat jar, the leash coming out)
Your consistency—or inconsistency—in responding to their signals

Good communication doesn’t just make your dog obedient. It makes them understand what options they have.

Consent test

A consent test is a simple, powerful idea:

Start an interaction → pause → see what the dog does when given the option to come closer or move away.

If they re‑approach, lean in, or solicit more contact, that’s a “yes.”If they turn away, freeze, lick lips, or try to leave, that’s a “not right now.”[10]

Consent tests can be used for petting, grooming, lifting, putting on harnesses, even some gentle veterinary handling.

Dogs are not guessing randomly: what the science says

They read what you can and can’t see

In perspective‑taking studies, dogs are placed between two food options, with a human observer who can see one plate but not the other.

In one such task, 78% of dogs chose the plate they believed was unseen by the human first, especially when auditory cues suggested the human was watching[3].
Across tasks, dogs show statistically significant preferences based on what they think others know or can see, not random choice.

This tells us: dogs are tracking your attention and adjusting their decisions accordingly. When your dog “waits” until you look away to sneak on the couch, that’s not just mischief; it’s social cognition.

They’re influenced by other dogs—sometimes too much

Research from Canisius College and others found:

Dogs low in rivalry were significantly more likely to follow another dog immediately, even if that dog was heading towards an empty plate.[1][9]
High rivalry dogs were more skeptical and independent in their choices.

In real life, that means:

Your easygoing dog might “choose” the bed the other dog left, not because they love it, but because the other dog’s choice overrode their own.
Your more competitive dog might insist on the window seat because they value control of resources, not because it’s objectively better.

When including your dog in decisions, you’re sometimes including their social world too.

They use training cues as a framework for choices

Consistent, positive reinforcement:

Clarifies what behaviors are available in a situation[2][6][8]
Lowers anxiety (“I know what to do here”)
Turns some decisions into cooperative routines (e.g., “touch” to move onto a scale at the vet)

Training isn’t the opposite of autonomy; it’s the structure that often makes choice possible and safe.

Reading “yes,” “no,” and “maybe” in your dog’s body

Including your dog in decisions starts with noticing the answers they’re already giving.

Willingness vs. reluctance: what it looks like

Signals of “yes, I’m okay with this” (or at least “I can cope”):

Approaching voluntarily
Leaning into touch, nudging for more
Soft body, loose muscles
Tail at neutral or gently wagging
Normal breathing, mouth slightly open
Taking food treats with normal enthusiasm

Signals of “no,” “not now,” or “I’m close to my limit”:

Turning head or body away
Lip licking, yawning, sudden panting in a non‑hot environment[10]
Ears pinned back, tail tucked or held stiff
Paw lift combined with tense posture
Freezing or going very still
Trying to move away, hide, or jump off the exam table
Refusing treats they’d usually take

One behavior alone can be ambiguous. A yawn could mean tired. A paw lift could mean focus. But a cluster—lip licking, turning away, stiff body—deserves to be taken seriously.

The subtle art of “almost okay”

Many chronic care dogs live in the gray zone between comfort and tolerable discomfort. You might see:

They approach the medication drawer… then back away a step.
They accept the harness but avoid eye contact.
They walk toward the car, then pause and look back at you.

These are “maybe” signals. They’re often an invitation to:

Slow down
Break the task into smaller steps
Increase comfort (more padding, lower handling, better support)
Use more predictable routines and cues

Everyday decisions where your dog’s input matters

You don’t need a lab or a behaviorist to start this. You just need to pay attention in ordinary moments.

1. Walks and activity levels

Especially relevant for senior or chronically ill dogs.

Where your dog can “vote”:

Route choice: At the first corner, pause. Let the leash go slightly slack and see which way they gently pull or look.
Speed: Notice if they lag, stop to sniff more, or naturally shorten the walk.
Terrain: Do they avoid stairs, steep hills, or rough ground?

Your role: Balance their preferences with safety. A dog with joint disease might choose a long walk they’ll pay for later; your job is to factor in the after‑effects they can’t foresee.

2. Resting places and household layout

Watch patterns over a week:

Which bed do they choose most often if all are available?
Do they move away from noise, drafts, other pets, or specific people?
Do they prefer elevated surfaces or floor‑level resting?

Small changes (moving a bed, adding a ramp, giving a quiet “retreat room”) are often your dog’s ideas—if you trace their choices back.

3. Handling, grooming, and home medical care

Baths, nail trims, injections, joint stretches, eye drops—none of these are neutral.

Try this consent‑based rhythm:

Invite: Show the brush, nail trimmer, or syringe calmly.
Observe: Do they come toward you, stay neutral, or move away?
Begin briefly: One or two strokes, one gentle stretch.
Pause: Stop and wait. Do they nudge for more or walk off?
Adjust: If they leave, consider shorter sessions, better pain control (discussed with your vet), or different positioning.

You may still need to do uncomfortable things. But the difference between “done to” and “done with” is often those micro‑pauses.

Including your dog at the vet: consent, stress, and realism

Veterinary visits are where the idea of “dog consent” runs into hard limits. Needles, x‑rays, joint manipulations—these are not things most dogs would sign up for.

Yet research and clinical experience agree: how we approach these procedures matters profoundly.

How dogs say “I’m not okay” in clinics

Common stress and fear signals in vet settings include[10]:

Refusing to enter the building or exam room
Panting, drooling, or shedding heavily
Low body posture, tail tucked, ears back
Lip licking, yawning, shaking off
Growling, snapping, or escalating to fear‑aggression if escape isn’t possible

These are not “bad behavior.” They are the dog’s side of the conversation: This is too much.

What a consent‑aware vet visit can look like

You can ask your vet about:

Consent tests: Letting the dog approach the vet or technician between steps, rather than immediate full restraint.
“Start button” behaviors: Teaching a cue like “chin rest” on the vet’s hand or a towel; as long as the chin stays, the exam continues. If they lift their head, everyone pauses.
Position choices: Allowing exams on the floor, on a mat, or in the owner’s lap where safe.
Pacing: Breaking up procedures, doing what’s essential first, and scheduling follow‑ups for non‑urgent items.
Pre‑visit medications: For highly stressed dogs, anxiety‑reducing meds prescribed by your vet can make consent‑based handling actually possible.

Ethical tension remains: sometimes life‑saving care will be done despite clear canine “no’s.” But even then, minimizing fear and giving the dog as much control as feasible is not a luxury; it’s part of welfare.

Personality, rivalry, and multi‑dog households

If you live with more than one dog, you’re not just reading a dog—you’re reading a system.

How rivalry shapes “choices”

Remember:

Low‑rivalry dogs
- More likely to simply follow another dog’s lead[1][9]
- May end up with the less comfortable bed, the less favorable route, or the less ideal vet tech if they’re just trailing the other dog
High‑rivalry dogs
- May dominate shared decisions (who gets the sofa, who approaches guests)
- Can appear to “choose” more, when they’re sometimes just louder about it

Practical ways to give each dog a voice:

Offer separate choices: two beds in different rooms, separate feeding areas, individual walks when possible.
Observe each dog alone occasionally: where do they go, what do they pick when not influenced by the other?
When introducing new treatments or equipment (like harnesses), trial them with each dog separately.

This is less about fairness points and more about accuracy: you’re trying to see what this dog actually prefers.

The emotional side: guilt, responsibility, and “reading it wrong”

Many owners of chronically ill or aging dogs carry a quiet fear:

“What if I’m misreading them? What if I’m pushing too hard—or not hard enough?”

A few grounding thoughts from the research and from clinical practice:

1. Ambiguity is normal, not a personal failure

Behavioral cues are real and meaningful, but they’re not a perfect translation device. Even experts disagree on mixed signals. Science itself is still sorting out nuances—especially in complex emotional states.[4][10]

You will sometimes guess wrong. That doesn’t mean you’re careless. It means you’re dealing with a living being, not a flowchart.

2. You’re not choosing for them or instead of them—you’re choosing with them

Your dog:

Experiences the moment (pain, comfort, fear, relief).
Expresses it through behavior and body language.

You:

Add context (prognosis, future consequences, finances, family needs).
Integrate their signals into a bigger picture they can’t see.

That’s not overriding them. It’s what responsible caregiving looks like.

3. “Listening” is an ongoing practice, not a one‑time test

A dog’s preferences can change with:

Disease progression
Pain levels day‑to‑day
Age‑related cognitive shifts
Positive or negative experiences (e.g., a painful procedure vs. a gentle one)

Checking in regularly—on walks, at the water bowl, before lifting them into the car—is more important than getting any single moment perfectly “right.”

Practical ways to start including your dog more today

You don’t have to overhaul your entire routine. Think of this as upgrading the quality of the conversation.

1. Add a tiny pause before doing things to your dog

Before:

Picking them up
Cleaning ears
Putting on a harness
Starting joint stretches
Entering the vet clinic

Try:

Show what’s about to happen (object, gesture, opening the door).
Count to three while watching their body.
Adjust based on what you see: pause, invite closer, or proceed more slowly.

2. Create at least one daily “choice point”

Examples:

Let them choose between two toys you hold out.
Offer two resting spots and see which they go to.
On walks, give them the first turn at a junction.

You’re not spoiling them; you’re practicing reading their preferences in low‑stakes situations.

3. Use your training cues as conversation tools

Basic cues like “touch,” “wait,” “up,” and “off” can:

Help your dog understand what’s being asked
Offer predictable structure in stressful situations
Give them a clear way to say “I can do this” (by responding) or “I’m overwhelmed” (by disengaging)

Consistent, positive reinforcement training is not just about control. It’s building a shared vocabulary.[2][6][8]

4. Bring behavior observations to your vet

Instead of only reporting symptoms (“he’s limping”), add:

“He now chooses the shorter route on walks.”
“He avoids the stairs he used to race up.”
“He used to love being brushed; now he lip‑licks and turns away after two strokes.”

These concrete decision‑patterns help your vet understand pain, fatigue, and emotional state in a way numbers alone can’t.

Where science is clear—and where it’s still learning

It helps to know which parts of this conversation are on solid ground and which are still being mapped out.

Topic	What we know	What’s still uncertain
Behavioral cues for emotion	Tail, ears, posture, paw lift, and facial expressions like lip licking are well‑documented indicators of stress, uncertainty, or comfort.[4][10]	Exactly how to interpret mixed or context‑dependent signals; individual variation.
Dogs’ decision‑making abilities	Dogs use social and environmental information, show perspective‑taking in tasks, and make non‑random choices.[3][7][14]	How much is “reasoning” vs. learned associations; whether we can call this “consent” in the human ethical sense.
Personality and rivalry	Low‑rivalry dogs tend to follow others more; high‑rivalry dogs often act more independently.[1][9]	How rivalry shows up across different contexts (resources, humans, space) and over time.
Training and cooperation	Positive reinforcement and clear cues improve cooperation and reduce stress in dogs.[2][6][8]	The best structured frameworks for shared decision‑making in chronic illness care.
Consent in veterinary care	Consent tests, stress cues, and gentle handling improve welfare and reduce fear‑aggression.[10]	How to ethically balance necessary but non‑consensual procedures with respect for canine agency.

You’re not imagining it: your dog is thinking, choosing, and communicating. Science backs that up. It also admits there’s more to learn.

A quieter kind of confidence

There will never be a moment when your dog looks you in the eye and says, “I prefer the shorter walk today, but I’d still like to sniff the hedge by the corner.”

What you get instead are:

The slight hesitation at the stairs
The way they lean into your hand—or away from it
The choice to follow the other dog, or stay by your side
The decision to step onto the scale at the vet… or plant their feet

Including your dog in decision‑making is not about perfection, or about giving them the final say in everything. It’s about letting their behavior carry real weight in the choices you make on their behalf.

You’re already making hard decisions for your dog. Learning to see how they’re making decisions with you doesn’t remove that responsibility—but it does mean you don’t have to carry it alone.

References

Canisius College. (2017). Dogs with low rivalry more likely to follow the pack. ScienceDaily. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/04/170424142212.htm
The Training of Dogs. Implementing effective training cues in dog training lessons. https://thetrainingofdogs.com/post/implementing-effective-training-cues-in-dog-training-lessons
Kaminski, J., & colleagues. (Year). Canine perspective taking and decision-making. PMC. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC11821393/
American Kennel Club. How to read dog body language. https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/training/how-to-read-dog-body-language/
Indiana University. (2017). Canine companions: How people choose dogs. https://blogs.iu.edu/sciu/2017/11/14/canine-companions/
FitPaws. Most common dog training behaviors and cues. https://fitpaws.com/blogs/fitpaws-community/most-common-dog-training-behaviors-and-cues
Psychology Today. (2021). Can dogs make decisions? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-would-aristotle-do/202102/can-dogs-make-decisions
Blue Ridge Humane Society. Basic cues to help excited dog behavior. https://www.blueridgehumane.org/basic-cues/
Range, F., et al. (2017). Personality and social influence in dogs’ following behavior. PubMed. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28421298/
Animal Osteopathy College. Recognizing canine communication. https://animalosteopathycollege.com/blog/recognizing-canine-communication
JSMCAH. Dog acquisition consumer behavior in low income communities. https://jsmcah.org/index.php/jasv/article/view/73/193
Phys.org. You’re happy, your dog is sad: emotional cues between humans and dogs. https://phys.org/news/2025-12-youre-happy-dog-sad-reveals.html
Holland, K. E., et al. (2019). A longitudinal study of decision making in dog acquisition. Anthrozoös. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/08927936.2019.1621520
American Psychological Association. (2025). How dogs think. APA Monitor. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2025/10/how-dogs-think
Social & Cognitive Origins Group. Participate in dog studies. https://social-cognitive-origins.com/participate-in-dog-studies.html