My husband and I are stuck and it feels awful. Our 12-year-old beagle mix, Daisy, has congestive heart failure and now kidney numbers are creeping up from the diuretics. She’s on pimobendan, furosemide, and enalapril, plus a renal diet she mostly refuses. Last weekend she had a bad night - coughing, restless, wouldn’t lay down, and then she had this panicky episode where she just stared and paced.
I’m in the “do everything” camp. I want to try the med adjustment the cardiologist suggested and maybe add the cough suppressant. My husband keeps saying we’re just extending suffering and that it might be time to let her go while she still has “some dignity.” Hearing him say that makes me feel like he’s giving up on my baby.
What happens when you and your partner disagree on treatment? Like logistically - who gets final say? And how do you decide…
Not to be blunt, but CHF nights are scary and they do matter. If your husband is the one up with her at 2am, his view might be shaped by that. Could you guys do a joint appointment with the cardiologist and basically ask, “realistically, what are we buying her - days, weeks, months - and what’s the likely suffering level?” Sometimes hearing it from a third party calms the fight. Also, can your vet give you an emergency plan so you’re not making the “is it time” decision in a crisis?